this world is not a hopeless place

it's unfair, isn't it. how evil thoughts can just take us over in a matter of seconds and fill our entire souls with nothingness. emptiness.but just listen.
take your hand, put it over your heart right now. do you feel that beating? that right there is called purpose. you're alive for a reason. whether you know it or not, someone out there loves you. they love you more than you could ever know. please just don't let them down tonight.
even though you may be experiencing your lowest moment, i promise you it won't last forever. each second is a chance to start new and leave everything behind. think of your goals and your dreams in life. think of all those things you've imagine crossing off of your bucket list. if you aren't here tomorrow, those things won't be possible.
if you're in need of hope, go outside and look at the moon and the stars tonight. knowing that something can shine so bright millions of light years away should just take your breath away. and think of applying that to your life. you're one person, but my God, if you want to, you have the ability to shine that bright too.
no matter what you think, the world will not be better off without you. please, think of the people who you have never met, but that your are going to. they want to meet you. they want to know what you are like. they're going to miss you. they want to be able to see your smile in real life, not just in picture. the people who are in your life, whether you know it or not; are all there for a reason, and they want to see you keep going.
think of all of the magical things that exist in the world. maybe it's music for you. maybe it's reading a book, or singing, or dancing, or photography. find your magic and hold on tight to it.
do what it takes. cry, let it all out, scream, throw something against the wall, but please, do the entire world a favor. stand up, smile, and don't ever give up.

TROLOLOLOL since when i could be as wise as this-_-

WELL, MY QUESTION IS, WHAT IS LOVE? -___________-
Well, maybe this song could help me.

What Is Love - Never Shout Never

And I know your life is such a hell
You wake up early and you work until
You have your drinks at 5 o'clock
The hours blend and your thoughts
All haunt your hopes, your dreams
Your everything
Well, mama, I hope
I dream that you won't leave

Stop-motioned by Emily. Btw, this Indonesian-Canadian girl has a lot of some interesting stop motion videos and you should check out her YouTube channel.

seize the day

FINALLY! IT'S FRIDAY! but this friday seems like a nightmare. why? because my parents are going to take my report card and i'm pretty sure that the result will going to knock me down. huh. and i'm gonna miss my pals (especially my crush :p) because the december break doesn't allow me to get crazy at class :( LOL you may say i'm a weirdo because i hate december break. no, i don't hate it. but i think it'd be better if my country had a snow so that we could build a snowman, claimed this christmas as a white christmas, drink up hot chocolate in front of the fireplace (if there's a snow, there'd be a fireplace, huh?) and many more. seriously, i miss celebrating december in snow.

well, yesterday we had a class meeting. and i'm sooo proud of my class because we reached the 1st place on soccer & basketball competition! congratulations, kids! but of course, in every success, we have to did a sacrifice. our Mr-Can-Do-It-All, Jupe a.k.a Rizky (the ex-head of student council) broke his arm while he was trying to reach a goal in soccer match. you know, it reminds me of one of episodes in The Fairly Odd Parents (i have a lil sis and i'm still watching cartoons :p) while the most powerful fairy in the Fairy World fainted and the stupid Cosmo replaced him in the race competition and voila! the fairies could beat the pixies & anti-fairies without him. aaaaaand i took some photos in basketball match, check it out ;)

imma be imma be imma imma imma be

holla everyone, how's your sunday? i hope sunday treat you well today. well, i just finished reading Miley Cyrus's Miles To Go and she inspires me to write this post. keep asking what the purpose of this post, because i just want to share my 7 things. this.

7 things i'm craving the most


1. brand new mansion (i wanna move to Beverly Hills or London or New York if i could! this small town really sucks--ah well, not really actually)
2. an extremely smart yet charming big brother.oh, and nice slash humble. i'd rather have a big brother than having a boyfriend.
3. longer hair! and skinnier body (duh). if i had them, i'll make a fashion blog soon :D
4. iPad! Mac Air! or Galaxy Tab! and brand new phone like Galaxy S II or Blackberry Empathy
5. PORSCHE! AND IT'S 100% MINE!
6. a lomo camera. i'm saving some of my money to buy it right now
7. a lot of The Smurfs dolls!

7 things i must do before i die


1. pray a lot and do the best for erase up my sins. i wanna face my God with a heart like a newborn baby.
2. buy my parents a luxury mansion and make them proud of me
3. getting married. of course not now! maybe 10 years later. and raise my own child!
4. be a nice, humble, talented, famous and adorable teenage star! livin' in my own fabulous world ohyeeaaah B-)
5. make my own fashion line and make people realize that fashion is NOT only for skinny people.
6. make a big wave for saving the world from global warming! and rescue those innocents animals. gosh, people who harmed them are HEARTLESS.
7. open a bakery!

another kind of freaky wednesday

another wednesday photography party! yay! i love this club so muchoooo. you shouldn't ask for more, because i really love photography & as a busy 9th grader student, i barely have time to take some cool photos outside my school anymore. okay enough said, here, i brought you some of my photos :)

notes: should i make this blog as a photography blog? because i only have one SLR camera and the type is just Canon 1000D.

i wish she's my lil sistah.

Maddi Jane! Yes, I've nothing to describe her but cute. Oh, and talented, too! She's just twelve but she has such an amazing voice.
Here, because my heart is made of gold (?) i brought you some of her video cover.

country fiesta

If I die young,

Bury me in satin.

Lay me down on a bed of roses.

Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song.

Well, another song posting. This song titled If I Die Young by The Band Perry. I think it's awesome because i love to imagine things at night, like, if i die in the age of 14, what will people do for me? Will they cry me a river or....having another party? You know, i'm such an annoying creature.

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

Will my mom cry for me? Hahaha. Okay, okay, really, i love to exaggerating something. LOL forgive meee u,u


And oh! I also a fan of Taylor Allison Swift! Hahahah her song "Picture To Burn" is stuck in my brain. Because I've just "broke up" with my "ex-crush". The story is just exactly like that song!

So go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy
That's fine I'll tell mine that you're gay!
By the way...
I hate that stupid old pickup truck
You never let me drive
You're a redneck heartbreak
Who's really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match
On all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned you're
Just another picture to burn

just strolled my head into fully formed

okay just strolled my head into fully formed. i have something that stuck inside my chest and i have to get it out. okay, not that much. but this is what i exactly feel.
they said the girls who loved by such of many guys are quiet. QUIET--bitch please!!! and some teachers at my school begged me so. yeah baby, i'm an extremely active bitch. but why? reality bumps me that i have to grow up my mind.
i want a freedom. i won't grow up. if i had a time turner, i'll back to 10 again. oh, no, i got bullied when i was 10. 
but why?
why am i growing up?
why troubles always chase me?
why can't i be happy?
i miss my real smile like seriously. my pals told me so. they all stated that i'm faking a smile for the last few months.
i won't be an adult. i won't faking a smile. i won't falling in love. yeah, love. when i was an innocent snotty little kid i thought it'll be great but i've to swallowing the fact that it will never lead me to the happily ever after. that doesn't make sense.


oh! and i also made a poetry. i haven't told you that i'll make a goth literature, huh? hahaha if god allowed me to finished it, i'll post it when i'm a high-schooler. the spoiler of it will come up later :)

She’s alone on her own

In this strange place you call home

She’s been yearning for a way out

So she find’s comfort in the blade

As it glades across her skin

She feels so in control

When she see’s the blood drip, she comes to life

The feeling is so good

It’s the only happiness she has

Cause she’s all alone in this place you call home…


have you catch the point yet? yes. self-harm.

Boogie Wednesday!

Soooo finally i took Photography Club at my beloved school, Al Azhar SBL :) yea the club starts every Wednesday so the title of my  new post  is Boogie Wednesday. Well  enough said, just check my photography project out ;)